Family Matters
by nopenopnope
Summary: While discussing their 'families' Hollander reveals his secret to coping with their abnormal relationships, much to Hojo's horror. Contains mention of light bondage, yaoi, and multiple partner relationships. Sephiroth/Cloud and Angeal/Genesis/Zack


I should be killed for this, I suppose.

All warnings were listed in the summary, save the OOC...mainly because I doubt a canon Sephiroth would...well...you'll see?

Disclaimer: Don't own anything...which is apparently a good thing.

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"It's disgusting," Hojo snapped. Hollander nodded distractedly, making a few small corrections to a chart.

"Seriously, if you're going to condone such behavior, you really should offer up your own lab rooms for such…purposes," Hojo said darkly, scowling behind his glasses.

"I try not to encourage it, honestly," Hollander replied blandly.

"Do you know what I had to see?" Hojo snapped at him. Hollander could guess, but because Hojo was so loathe to elaborate, he pretended he didn't, just to force him to.

"Those…failures…" Hojo snarled, and Hollander didn't correct him, simply because his discomfort was worth more than starting an argument they'd had time and again.

"Your two projects…on my examination table!" Hojo shuddered. "The first thing I see is that hideous red coat hanging over my sample jars…and then there's…Angeal's…"

Hollander, despite not wanting to picture Angeal's naked backside…for multiple reasons, couldn't help loving the way Hojo spluttered as he tried to describe what he saw.

He really wasn't that upset. Of course he'd been worried when he first found out. He'd hoped, despite their raising, that Angeal and Genesis would have a rather normal life. He'd hoped that they'd possibly not be in such a non-conventional relationship on top of their genetic abnormalities, but honestly it was almost a relief. Angeal and Genesis had much in common; they had known each other for their entire lives, and, of course, were very close in strength. If they'd gone on to find women, or even other men, to care for, they'd always have to worry about physically harming them. There was even the possibility of accidentally causing mako poisoning with…certain bodily fluids.

Okay, so Hollander wasn't completely comfortable with the entire process. Certainly he didn't want to know about the details, as…one was his son, and one practically was. He would never go so far as to say son in law; Genesis would probably snap and murder him. That was just a bad scenario altogether, as the thought of a murderous Genesis in a wedding dress was enough to put his heart in danger of attack.

"And then Genesis…was…"

"Writhing? Mewling? He does that…" Hollander offered, gleeful at the expression this provided him. Hojo's eyes, already seeming larger because of his glasses, fairly bugged out of his head.

"That's not the worst part!" he said, sallow face showing more color than it had since…well since the last time. "As sad as it is to admit, I've seen _that_ before!"

"I know," Hollander said, clicking a few keys on his computer to re-run a scan. "You told me…or…_squeaked_ it at me-"

"There was _more_ this time!" Hojo said sharply, and Hollander briefly wondered why a man who'd done as many immoral things as Hojo had was so uncomfortable with walking in on sex. He wondered if it was simply because it was Angeal and Genesis, Hollander's experiments. No doubt if Sephiroth had been going at it with someone on an examination table, he'd have considered it a study…or, no, perhaps he'd have been even more horrified that his own perfect experiment was capable of a libido. This made Hollander nearly giddy for reasons he chose not to immediately divulge.

"More? A certain Second Class Zack Fair perhaps?" he asked mildly.

"You know about that?" Hojo asked, scandalized.

"I do, believe it or not, keep track of them, especially Angeal," Hollander said simply.

Ah, Zack…yet another complication, yet another step away from the two of them having a normal relationship. Nowadays perhaps, same sex relationships were more common, but this delicate three-way…something…they'd worked out…and with Zack being so much younger…well…they _were_ happy…

"He was…_sandwiched_…" Hojo said faintly. "He was between them…"

"I'm guessing, just off of what they usually prefer, that Angeal was…taking…Genesis, who probably had Zack pressed between them, more than likely teasing the poor boy to the edge of his sanity?"

Hojo stared at him in horror.

"How can you say such things about them with a straight face? Doesn't it concern you that your only two surviving experiments are involved in some sort of deviant relationship with a Second Class, considerably younger than they are?"

"I can't lie…it _is_ discontenting…not so much that the relationship is there, as that I keep being reminded of it, by you or them or accidentally. You aren't the only one who isn't in the habit of knocking on your own doors, after all. I have found, though, that there is one thing that can always keep me sane, no matter what they present to me."

"Must be one hell of a thing," Hojo snapped.

"Oh, it is," Hollander said secretively.

"Mind sharing it? Perhaps I can be a little saner as I return to my lab to clean the table, most likely the floor and cabinets, and, if it's like last time, the ceiling?" he hissed.

"I'm not sure you would find it so…comforting."

"_Hollander…_"

"Whenever the three of them prove to be a bit too much, there's one thing I can always remind myself of," Hollander said simply, moving to flip a switch on his monitor, which pulled up a surveillance camera.

"I can always remember that…even if they are in a rather unconventional relationship…"

Hojo's eyes widened. "Is...is that…"

"Even if they have very little regard for privacy…"

Hojo was turning an interesting combination of green and purple.

"Even if Zack is quite young…and only a Second Class…"

Hollander bit back a chuckle as the other man's hands tightened on a chair to keep himself steady.

"At least my projects have never ball-gagged and hog-tied a cadet…considerably younger and lower in rank than a Second Class, in case you hadn't caught that, in the Third Class training room, with only a little index card sign saying…'Go the fuck away' was it?...to keep people out…before having his way with him…"

Hojo appeared to be gurgling now.

"Multiple times," Hollander added.

"You should tell Sephiroth to have him over for dinner. Like a family gathering," Hollander said dryly. "You can set Jenova's head in a chair; discuss the holidays and bondage play over baked chicken cutlets," Hollander offered, unable to contain his own mirth anymore. Making a note to treat his own dysfunctional 'children' to a free meal in the future, if for no other reason than to relate this story to them, he left Hojo to watch his prize experiment enthusiastically engage in anal sex with a _very_ pleased, _very_ vocal, despite the gag, Cloud Strife.

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Edited: 10 / 30 / 10

I really don't like reading my old works anymore. I hope this means I've improved. I'm going through and changing some grammar, though, so I won't feel so awful about leaving these on my profile at all. I probably still missed a ton of it, anyway.

Review Please?


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